I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
