If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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