I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
