I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
