they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
