Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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