i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is the high leading the old right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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