why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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