You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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