i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
