Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
