dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
