please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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