Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls

(415): View more from California

Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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(425): View more from Washington

he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.

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(210): View more from Texas

hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.

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(425): View more from Washington

You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink

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