Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
