I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
