honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
