how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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