Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize