Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
