He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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