She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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