just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
