apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is Oprah even human
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
