i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
