these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
