Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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