I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
