My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize