ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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