You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
