I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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