ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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