So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize