i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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