the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
