I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
