When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
