dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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