I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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