i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
