I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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