I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am available for nakedness
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
