Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
