What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
