Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
