You work out of a Hotel?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
