I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
