ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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