I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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