heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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