If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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