if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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