I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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