if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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