I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize