Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
