we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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