Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
