and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
