i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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