its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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