I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
